(Tuesday – January 3, 2017)
I really can’t say where the time has gone. 2016 was literally the fastest moving year of my life. I blinked, and it was over. In a way I’m grateful – I remember often wishing time would move faster, when I was younger. But I’m also worried. Worried I’m missing something important..
And then we have this blog – a digital time capsule which I’ve neglected for the last 4 months. FOUR months! That’s probably the longest blog break I’ve taken in a long time, but I definitely wasn’t sitting around on the couch. Okay – maybe sometimes I was. But give a girl a break – I was working my day job for 40 hours a week and spending at least one day on my weekend devoting myself to photography of some sort. Weddings, engagements, holiday parties, family sessions, etc. I was burning the candle at both ends, only to find myself a day off and feel completely useless for 24 hours until I had to go back to work. Or take the dog for a walk, or wash dishes, or clean the house, or run errands… even a day off didn’t feel like a day off.
And I wonder why I feel guilty when I take naps.
So 2017, huh? A lot of people were ready to throw 2016 out with the trash. So many beloved celebrities died, a new political reign is dividing the country, and it leaves many wondering what humanity is really made of. What our future is made of. It gets more and more questionable everyday, so as much as we want to leave 2016 behind – we were still holding onto its tail a bit tightly as the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve. Los Angeles was a bit of a ghost town, almost as if this new year wasn’t a year to celebrate – but a year to brace for.
In the last year I’ve made the attempt to slow down. Stress was building up in my mind and my back and my soul.. I had to learn to say no or at least ask for help when I legit needed it. I still tend to move at a dizzying pace sometimes, but last year was a year to build upon certain habits. To move more slowly, more thoughtful. Still efficient, mind you, but not allowing stress to seep in steadily when I’m not paying attention. I stretch more, I breathe more, and I’m trying to listen and use my sense of smell more (and I think as an LA local now I realize how many smells I’m trying to block out – but when the place and the wind is just right, I can smell the pure aroma of nature).
It’s a new year, but my goals have not changed. My constant drive for consistency to heal my wounds and improve myself is my only path of guidance. I feel I have obtained more positivity in my life over the past couple of years, however dark certain emotions of mine can reach. This blog is the road for which I can lay my path, so all I have to do is show up. Be vulnerable. Be thoughtful. Be communicative. Here and IRL. Slow like honey… (thanks Fiona Apple).